"you are ready to take on the world"
17/05/10 03:07
Monday, May 17, 2010
| "You are ready to take on the world" I’m leaving tomorrow for the outter banks of North Carolina... Cape Hatteras exactly... I’ve been out there twice before... once with Delphine... where I was litterally in Nags Head for less than an hour and I couldn’t get out of there fast enough... some ex-boyfriend named Chirs... stinkin up the place... we had to pick up her stuff... boxes of who knows what... that she had moved there with... cuz she couldn’t stand to be with me anymore... and then one day decided that she could no longer stay... and left everything behind to come back to me... we left Key West on that trip to leave it behind and begin our new life in British Columbia... but I had to go to London for some reason first... ... then life got in the way... ... years later I had made the choice that I wanted to be a surfer... I left Key West on my own... drifting and dreaming... playing in random towns up the coast... but had to go to the outter banks... to surf... to buy my first surfboad... Rhyan had planned her trip to Hawaii... and the deal was we... we would both meet back in Key West in a couple months and then figure out where we go from there... ... then life got in the way... ... I was just thinking how foolish it would be to go into details about both situations... sad love stories... tortured artist... beautiful inspiring woman... long road... different paths... never enough time... too many choices... some sort of strange misunderstanding... loss of faith... etc etc... ... but I think it’s strange to be here again... ... about to find my way back there... ....perhaps I am a glutton for punishment... ... I planned this trip when Steph and I were still together... ... I rented a house for a week... for my family... to be able to hang out and spend time together where I wasn’t rushing off to a gig or to a recording studio... for a chance for all of us to spend time and maybe just enjoy the moment and stop planning the future... ... then life got in the way... ... so it’s strange... to be hopping on a flight solo... and heading out there... .... it’s the first trip in a series of trips to begin my metamorphosis... ... tomorrow OBX ... next month Barbados... ... July... Boston and Cape Cod... and where ever else they’lll have me... ... after that whatever happens happens... ... all I want is everything.................. ... I opened up a fortune cookie today that has been sitting on my counter for weeks... ... I hate fortune cookies... they used to hold fortunes... ... now mostly it’s just bizarro sayings and random facts... ... but this cookie has been in the wrapper for weeks... ... I remember the night of ordering from China Garden with Sunny... ... we both got very lame fortunes that night but they had put in like 4 cookies... ... cuz we had ordered enough food that they just assumed more people were involved;) ... but so this cookie has been sittin there with my vitamins... ... and I’m always thinking that it’s just a symbol of how out of shape I am... ... but today I made coffee and I took my vitamins and I saw it sittin there and I knew I was getting ready for this trip... so I just said... “ Hey, whatever this thing says is how things are gonna go... so just do whatever it says (thinkin it would be something mundane or something so obtuse that I could manipulate it’s meaning to see it through no matter what)... ... and it said “ You are ready to take on the world”... ... and I sat there for a minute... thinking about how useless fortune cookies are... ... but there was a part of me that couldn’t help but remember that Paul Coelho quote: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ... and I have to admit that in some stupid way I am inspired by this fortune cookie... ... I take the signs when I can get them;) ... so I leave tomorrow to begin the process... ... I have a million big ideas at the moment... ... my heart is aching... ... my soul is searching... ... and I am as hopeful as I can remember being since the last time I believed... ... in love... ... in life... ... in the fact that this is just the beginning... ... but maybe I am ready... |